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If others change..Then..I will be happy

When you are upset or hurt by someone and you keep thinking that if only they would do this or that differently, if only they would understand, if only they would change.. Then.. I would be happy.

This puts you in a powerless state in which you have no control over how you experience life as all of the weight is placed on what someone else does or does not do.

While we can communicate to the person how we feel and what is happening within us in relation to the situation, we cannot control how they will respond and whether they will change.

Since we cannot take responsibility for someone else, we certainly can take responsibility for ourselves and what we can do as the situations with others that trigger us, can help us shine a light to what needs attention within ourselves as this is a call for support.

You can check in with yourself and see which parts of you are being activated through this situation and what is it that these parts need? How can you stay with them and offer them support and care?

Usually these parts did not just come up because of the current situation, but they rather have been coming up repetitively throughout your life, trying to find a resolution.

Check how familiar are these feelings to you that are caused by the situation.

When we do the inner work to help these parts within us that are being triggered in our every day life, we will then see that our relationships with others also often change, and even if they don't, we will have changed our internal connections with this subject and we will be reacting differently, or fulfilling our needs differently.

By taking responsibility for ourselves, we then put ourselves in a much more empowered place from which actual change happens.


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