When Sofia came to work with me she was tired of how perfectionism was taking up all her energy at work and wouldn’t let her enjoy what she was doing, as everything always had to be perfect and nothing was ever good enough for her.
She also shared that she was constantly anxious about her performance at work and even though her coworkers and manager thought of her to be very good at her job, she did not feel like this. She felt that no matter how well she performed she would always put pressure to herself that she can do better without ever feeling satisfied. Internally she would tell herself that she is not good enough and that she is not worthy and she would also avoid taking risks as she believed that if she failed she wouldn’t
be able to handle it.
In the sessions, Sofia connected with this inner critic part of her who was pushing her to constantly improve and she saw that it was doing this relentlessly since she was very young in order to protect her from feeling the rejection that she experienced as a child from her mother who was frequently judging her for not being perfect at school.
Through her mother’s critisism she had received the message that when she is anything less than perfect she is losing access to love, and so the solution for her system back then was to develop perfectionism as a way to cope. This helped her when she was young but now it was creating a lot of stress
and inner pressure for her.
She then connected with her inner child who was longing to be accepted for who she is and not for her performance. She helped her to be witnessed, heard and supported. That was very important as subconsciously she was holding on to what was not expressed at that time and it was showing
up in her adult life.
She helped her inner child to feel accepted and celebrated for who she is and explained to her that she is worthy for existing in this world and not because of what she is doing. She also told her that making mistakes is part of life and that this is how we learn and grow. This happened when Sofia connected to her core Self rather than a judgmental part or resisting part as she helped these to soothe their concerns too.
Sofia felt a big inner shift and started observing that she felt more relaxed at her work to be herself and to do the things she enjoys, without feeling pressure to be perfect or to prove herself as now her system was updated with the new information and through her processing she created more inner space
to hold this truth.
These old programmes did serve us in the past and had an important role to help us survive, and now as adults we can be the ones to support our inner system so we can thrive, not just survive.
When we work with these inner parts in us, we can release the old stories and narratives that don’t serve us anymore and update our system with new information that deepen our connection to ourselves
and create a new reality in our lives. 💫
*The original name has been changed
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