If you find yourself being hyper-vigilant or walking on eggshells around other people when they seem to be in a «bad mood» maybe you grew up with with caregivers who were unloading their tension on you or you were made to feel responsible for their moods and how they felt.
Therefore you ended up believing that it was your fault when someone else feels upset, angry or sad or that it has to be your responsibility to prevent, fix or improve other people’s emotions.
This has been a great survival mechanism in the past as it did serve you as a child in situations where truly there might not have been any other way to cope/sustain the connection but now it is coming with a lot of stress for carrying that responsibility and at the cost of authentic connection.
Now as adults, we can rewire these responses in our subconscious minds and choose different ones that serve us in the present moment, with the abilities we have now that we didn’t have as children.
After acknowledging these survival responses, observing how they still take place in our lives and processing the energy stored in from the past, we can update our subconscious with the new information and change our experiences.
Taking responsibility for how other people feel even if you were not even involved in the reason they feel in a certain way, can burden you a lot without even realising it as it feels natural when this was the way you had to cope as a child in relation to other people’s expression of emotions.
Notice if you feel stress or tension every time a person is in a “bad mood” and observe your body. Does it go into activation, feeling threatened?
How familiar is this response to you?
Our bodies hold the survival mechanisms and stored energy from our past and play it out in our everyday circumstances whenever there is even the slightest similarity to a situation that felt concerning to us as children.
Even if consciously we wouldn’t think about it, subconsciously our reactions and emotions are activated and we can use our triggers to see what needs to be integrated into our wholeness.
When we update the system, there is no need for the same reactions as the energy is processed and more space is created for new reactions and new experiences.