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How to work with your inner critic

The usual advice that many people give is to go against your inner critic or ignore them. While this might sometimes work (usually for a little bit), there is a lot of resistance that we have to fight through which can be very tiring for our whole system.

While when we get to know our inner critic(s) this can help us increase our awareness and understanding so that then we can support them and update them with new information that wouldn’t mean they have to carry the burden of having this role anymore.

When you observe an inner critic part in your system, ask them the following question:

  • What would happen if you let me feel good about myself?

Take a moment to give space and see what comes up as the answer.

The answer to this question will guide you to understand what the pattern of the inner critic is. For example, they might say that if they let you feel good about yourself, you would then feel confident and try new things that might expose you to potential rejection and that would be difficult to handle.

Inner critics usually have a good intention for us and they are trying to protect us, but they often don't know any other way to do it and so they repeat what they have learned when we were young.

When we get to know and understand them, we can support them with their concerns and update them with new information that can ease their role while increasing the inner safety to move forward. 💫


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